I Never Thought It Would Be You

Chapter 4: Truth or Dare - 30 November 2003

By Pigwidgeon37

Three witches and five Muggle women in various states of drunkenness-none of them even remotely close to ‘tipsy’ anymore-were reluctant to finish their party, although it was getting very late. They had talked and laughed and watched selected scenes from romantic movies, making abysmally obscene comments; the three witches-Ginny, Hermione and Vivian-had joined efforts and transformed five empty wine bottles into a stripper quintet. All in all it had been way too fun for them to part ways just now. Besides, only few of them were able to walk.

The flat was already empty, as the bride would move to her new home the next day, but the witches had conjured everything they had needed for their get-together, except for the food and drinks. This had the undeniable advantage of sparing them the trouble of cleaning up the traces of merriment, of which there were plenty. After a moment of dazed silence, Vivian slurred, “We could play some rounds of Truth or Dare, huh, girls?”

“Not really,” said Melissa, one of Susanna’s Muggle friends, “I won’t dare a witch to do anything, that seems pretty pointless, doesn't it?”

Ginny nodded. “Exactly. Let's cancel dare and just play truth.”

“Then you can just as well call it ‘Ask Insolent Questions’”, Susanna objected.

“Well, that’s exactly the point,” Ginny agreed. “The dare part is more for men, anyway.”

“Men…” Hermione said dreamily, “Do you think they’re still alive? Eh, Susanna?”

“I’m more concerned whether they’re still in one piece. Okay, let's play, then. Who’s first?”

“I,” said Vivian, “After all, it was my idea. I think I’ll ask Ginny a question.” Ginny merely groaned-Vivian’s outrageous curiosity was legendary. “ Ri-ight… okay. Did Sirius ever shag you in his dog form?”

This had at least the effect of sobering up the redhead. “What?” she shrieked, “Of all the impertinent… of course not!” After the general laughter had died down, Ginny scrutinized the others. “Hermione,” she said, “I think I’ll ask you. Have you ever been in bed with Severus?”

“No! When will you guys finally understand that we’re friends, nothing else?”

“Oh, of course,” Susanna said, with a florid gesture of her right hand that sent an empty bottle-the former blonde stripper-rolling across the floor. “Just friends… as if that were possible between a man and a woman! Are you saying you never had any lewd thoughts about him? Fantasies? Nothing?”

“Well… no. He’s a friend, almost like a brother. It's been almost two years, and I’ve never thought about him that way, honestly!”

“And why,” Ginny asked shrewdly, “were you so horrible to the girl he brought to Susanna’s engagement party? How d’you explain that?”

Hermione frowned. “I wasn't exactly horrible, I-”

“ Mione, you sat on her wand and broke it!” Ginny interrupted her, “And it was deliberate, I saw the look on your face!”

“And do you remember how she made her puke?” Susanna chimed in, “When she made her believe the foie gras was frog liver and said ‘Hmmm… I didn’t think that was edible!’ If that wasn't jealousy, I don't know what would be.”

“I merely didn’t like her,” Hermione said defensively, “she’s too young for him-”

“She's two years your senior!”

“-and she simply isn’t right for him,” Hermione continued, unperturbed. “He's just shagging her, nothing else!”

“Exactly what you were doing with my admittedly gorgeous future stepson,” Susanna said, “And Severus didn't like that, either! Not a bit! The looks he was throwing you were murderous, and that's a euphemism.”

“You’re just a bunch of drunken females,” Hermione replied, trying to sound sober and signified. “Speaking of gorgeous stepsons, Susanna dearest, does that mean you’re having second thoughts?”

“Certainly not. Lucius is more than enough, I assure you.”

“Really?” Hermione asked, wriggling her eyebrows. “Is he-”

“You already had your question. Yes, he is. Very much so. And I bet Severus is, too. Just think of those hands…”

Elizabeth, another of her friends, struggled her way back to conscious thought. “Did I hear hands? Hands are so important…” She fell back into her cushions and started snoring.

“I think,” Hermione said, “we should really be going. It’s almost four o’clock and the wedding is at noon.” She summoned her handbag and rummaged through it. “Here,” she said, handing Susanna a small vial, “I suppose you’ll need that. Hangover potion, Severus made it especially for you. Nothing more embarrassing at a wedding than the bride being sick all over the groom.”