I Never Thought It Would Be You

Challenge Rules and Overture - A Floo Conversation

By Pigwidgeon37

This story is the answer to a WIKTT challenge. Out of 8 possibilities, the author has to choose at least 4, turning them into HG/SS vignettes. Said vignettes form a story of purely platonic friendship between the two, although they might come to realize that there's more. Their friendship has to last at least 3 years. These are the scenes I chose, plus the must-haves:

Confessional   SS & HG get together and share boy/girlfriend stories over wine/pot/dark chocolate/some hallucinogenic potion.   Your choice.
    Required item:   Underwear.
   Required phrase:   ‘And boy, was I sore the next day!’

Double-blind Date   SS and HG each bring a friend to be the date to the other (as in that famous movie we won’t mention because we don’t do challenges based on movies).
   Required item:   The date Hermione brings for Snape must be a Mary-Sue!
   Required phrase:   ‘I didn’t know you were such a cute baby!’

Reunion   Severus and Hermione run into each other at an Alumni meeting at Hogwarts.
   Required item:   An escaped beastie of Hagrid’s
   Required phrase:   ‘Old age doesn’t necessarily mean wisdom.’

Christmas   Our two favourite people bump into each other while Christmas shopping.   Their meeting turns into coffee.
   Required item:   a ‘mini’-sized parcel or bag.
   Required phrase:   ‘Did you reduce that, or is it really that small?’
     **Bonus:   if you mention Scrooge, Snoopy or the Grinch.

†Girls/Boys Night Out.   A stag/ette or bachelor/ette night, with either Snape or Granger.   Of course the other can appear…
   Required item:   A broken wand.
   Required phrase:   ‘Hmmm…I didn’t think that was edible!’

OUVERTURE - A FLOO CONVERSATION

 “Ginny, you had promised to accompany me! Since when have we been planning this shopping trip? Two weeks ago? Three?”

“I’m sorry, Mione, I truly am, but I really can’t.”

 “Sometimes you’re just such a dog!”

“Considering that I’m married to a big-black-dog-Animagus, that seems hardly surprising-you aren’t angry, Mione, are you?”

“…”

“But Sirius has been away for more than two weeks, and I swear you, he Floo-called me only ten minutes ago and he’ll be here in an hour… and I’ve been sleeping alone for so long that I really-”

“It’s ten o’clock in the morning, dearest. The sleeping-alone argument is scarcely stringent at this time of day.”

 “Okay. I want a non-stop twenty-four-hour shag-feast with my husband. That better?”

“At least it’s the naked truth, pardon the pun. From a purely ethical point of view, I suppose it is better. Okay, I’ll go alone and leave you to trimming your pubic hair into heart-shape, or whatever it is you want to surprise him with.”

“Now that would be a first. Not bad though. And if you do the shopping all by yourself, you can get my Christmas present as well, that’s a big advantage. Otherwise you’d have to set out again, merely for my present. Come to think of it, I’m doing you a favour.”

“Gin, since you married Sirius, you’re even more of a brat. No presents for you this year, you deserted me. Now go and make yourself pretty for Mr. Black.”